"Email to Director Of Nurses"

Emails yesterday morning,

Good morning "your highness", :) :), ( AnnMarie, Director of Nurses)

Yestedays call from Christy was so uplifting. To hear the excitement in her voice was contagious. I hope I am not being over zealous in my reactions when I hear of the things that Dar is doing in the oh so short time she has been with you, that she was not doing before.

To hear things like Christy can feel Dar try to move fingers when asked to when she places her hand around Dars pectrol area. To not only hear but also myself be able to place Dar's arm out like a chicken wing and place it in a resting position on the roll away table and leave it for 30 minutes with Dar comfortable, to me is so exciting. It gives me so much hope that the "tone" we have been seeing for so long is hopefjully diminishing. The thought that it would continue and Dar would be able to ask her body to respond, to me is so exciting and gives me so much hope that soon maybe we will see those fingers, hands and arms move ever so slightly when she calls upon them, is huge.!!!!!

As I said I hope I am not over reacting with my excitement. I hope that as you all continue to get to know Dar that you are finding her to be willing and ready to meet the tasks before her. I hope you are finding her cooperative with the sessions, cheerfull in her demeanor and at times just a little bit of a scamp. She is such an awesome lady I pray that she continues to excite you folks as much as I am excited to hear what she is doing. It is so hard to be displaced during the week and the feelings of guilt are so overpowering. Calls from the staff and my knowledge that I can call mean so much to me.

It was really great to have Dar's speaking valve on Sunday and I hope that I was able to give Kaylin need "tips", information that will help them as they work with Dar in Speech Therapy.

Christy also tells me that Dar continues to make butter with her feet and lower legs while in her chair and I hope that Dennis is finding new and creative things that will help Dar.

I have this little voice in the back of my head telling me that you folks are going to be seeing so super things in the not so distant future from this "little princess".

Sundays meeting with Adam was enlightening to say the least, but I was very pleased with the outcome and the representation and compassion he showed. I feel very comfortable with where we are heading. I felt not as a "case" but as a person in crisis and he was and is there to help.

I stated in my blog on Sunday morning as I wrote on the "deck" long before 10:00 that since coming to CM I feel more focused at work, a little more relaxed, not as anxious, and more at peace than I have been in a long time. Thank you for bringing me these new feelings.

Everday will be a new challenge, everyday will not always be what I hope for, everyday will not have the same growth, but everyday will be another day for Dar to reach for the stars, I thank you all so much for being part of :"Dars Dream Team".

Now my request, for Dar's birthday, I would like to get her a manicure and a pedicure. I have no idea where to start, cost or even if it can be done. Can you help me out?

Do you know of anyone, would they come to CM, would they take paymnent this weekend, do you allow this type of thing. Any suggestions?

Sorry to be a pest, thank you

Danny

Responce

The party on Sunday sounds wonderful and I’m sure Dar will enjoy it. Julie and the rest of us planned on having a little party for her on Tuesday as well, so it should be a very happy and uplifting week for Darlene. I am looking forward to seeing you at her Care Conference on Friday at 1:00.

The rest of your email sounded like a happy husband who is encouraged by what he is hearing. Yes, it may take a very long time for Dar to come back, but we will do our best to assist in that process. The team will give you details at our Friday meeting about what they’ve seen and what they plan. They are committed to getting her to the highest level within the timeframe of the insurance policy. As we approach her final days with us, you will not be left on the hook as to how to care for here at home. That’s all part of the process. The further along she gets while in our care, the easier it will be for you once she comes home.

A.M.

Have fun on Sunday!

" Happy Father's Day", Dad, " I Love You"

Sunday, June 21, 2009
0845 AM

Happy Father's Day to Darlene's and my fathers, we are both sorry we could not be with you today but we wanted to say thank you for all the years of "special" things that you have both done and given us. We hope you both have a very special day today and know that although we are not with you in person, you will be thought of many many times today. Thank you for being the great examples that you have been and given each of us that "little something" that makes each of us a little different and special in our own way. Happy Father's Day to you both.

This morning I find myself sitting on the deck of CareMeridian listening to the birds chirp and await the arrival of the sun. A little cool, I have dawned a light jacket, sipping a cup of French roast coffee, hearing the hustle and bustle of the traffic, people scurrying to get their Father's Day started.

It is so different here at CM, the total spirit of this place is about healing. From the design of the facility, the personable staff, to the placement of the building on the property. It all spells out "healing", "comfort" and as I type the word "peace" comes to mind.

All through the week as I worked at the school my boss told me that he noticed something different since Dar moved to CM. He said that I seemed more at "peace", more focused, able to keep my attention to projects that need to be taken care of. We are getting ready to start some major projects at the school of which I will be taking the role of project manager. He said that I seem more relaxed. Not as anxious as I have been over the last few months.

It’s true these observations are for the most part correct. I am better, and much of it has to do with where Dar is. The attention she is getting, the staff and re-hab she is receiving. It does make for more “peace” and “comfort”. I am so thankful Dar is at CM.

Yesterday was not one of Dar’s better days. Again I found her much to my dismay and frustration, with yet another low fever. When I arrived she was up in the activity room, in her chair but not her “perky” self. In fact it was the first time that I felt like Dar was not happy to see me. She was without a doubt not feeling well. I was able to make her laugh a little, we did go outside for some time and she enjoyed the sunshine and the breeze on her face but she just was not the Dar we know. Again I have to say that these low days have been far fewer that the good days, but I guess I sort of set myself up for disappointment when I just “expected’ her to be that perky, vibrant little lady she is.

It turns out that Dar probably has another UTI infection. A sample was sent out for culture late in the afternoon and we should have results in a couple 3 days. In the meantime I would imagine they would start Dar on something as per doctors orders.

I so look forward to seeing Dar this morning and hope she is feeling better.

Again I encourage those of you that would like to come down and see her to please not hesitate. She would love to see you.

Today is the NASCAR Sonoma 350 at Infinion Raceway. I would imagine it is going to be a zoo to try and get across the HWY 37 Bridge back to Vallejo. It is my plan to leave CM around 2:00pm when the race starts and sneak across the water. I am supposed to have a meeting with or “social worker” this morning around 10:30 and if all goes well and the “race gods” are with me I can “get out of Dodge” and beat feet it out of here and avoid the crazies.

Again, Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there and I will post again during the day to let you know how Dar is today. Have a great day dads, and moms and know that Dar and I love and miss you all.

We so appreciate your prayers of support and acts of kindness. Dar received a few more cards from the “Red Hatters” and even the “pink ones” too. Thank you ladies, thank you Bertha at the Post at Office in Bangor, thank you Jen at Wal-Mart, thank you fellow Wal-Mart Associates, thank you will never be enough and I cannot name all, just know that we love all of our “supporters” with all our heart.

God Bless and have a Great Fathers Day,

Love,
Darlene and Danny

Post update,

12:25 hours

Dar is doing much better today, very tired after yesterday but has been with her speaking valve since shortly after my arrival. Happier than yesterday, but just laid back more than usual. Bout yesterday with fever took a toll. Speech therapist, Kaylinn very happy with Dar's ability to have the speaking valve on.

All in all a much better day for both Dar and myself, happy faters day to me. I am so blessed.

Danny

" The Ritz Of Rehab""

06-17-2009

I stand corrected. I have been told that CareMeridian is affectionatley know as the Ritz of Rehab.

A statement that I am beginning to believe is true. From my weekend last, to the telephone conversations I had yesterday with AnneMarie, Dennis and Amy, I am totally convinced that Dar is getting all kinds of attention.

Newly nicknamed the "little princess", Dar has been very busy the last couple of days.

Dennis, PT has seen her twice and Amy, S/T, has been getting to know Dar.

I spoke to almost all of Dar's immediate attendenats yesterday and we are setting up a meeting for a week from this Friday to discuss a definitive game plan for Dar.

This is the time I will use to ask all of those important questions that come to mind when I am away from Dar.

Amy tells me that she has already put Dar's speaking valve back on to see how Dar tolerates it, remember Dar has not had it on in over 3 weeks. Dar did ok but fought it to a degree. In talking with Amy I was able to suggest some things that might help her as she works with Dar today. I believe that Dar just needs a little bit of time to get used to the valve again. Amy said that she was going to talk to Linda, S/T at Kentfield and gather more information that will help her with Dar. Amy was not aware that Dar had been eating forms of solid food and was getting close to haveing a solid food diet.

I will continue this post later and bring you more information.

1645 Hours

In as many days I have now talked to the folks at CareMeridian, twice, this time I was the one getting the surprize phone call. I had stepped out to the back yard for a moment and Speech Therapist Amy called and left a message for me to return her call.

When I did she told me that someone wanted to talk to me. Dar was on the other end of the line with her "speaking valve" back on. Usually we are together and make calls to friends and family so this time was a real treat. Maverick got to sing to Dar and you could hear her laughing in the back ground. It was very exciting to be able to hear and listen to her say "I love you".

It turns out that Amy needed more information about Dar's short inner cannula tube. Yesterday she had a standard length and did not do real well. After Amy talked to Linda from Kentfield she knew exactly what to do and Dar did not let her down. She has been jabbering for over an hour. Everyone was delighted to her her voice and see her interact and answer questions from Amy. Dar had some ice chips so that Amy could evaluate her swallowing and Dar did pretty darn good. I believe the plan will be to have Dar in the activity room where there are lots of people around and begin to leave the valve on for longer periods.

I am so looking forward to seeing her and being able to talk and laugh with her. We are already planning a wheelchair quad ride outside, maybe to town Saturday.

A week from this Monday is Dar's 46th birthday and Julie, the activity director is beginning to plan Dar's b-day party for all the residents of the "Ritz". Should be a gala day. We plan on having it on Sunday as I will come home on Saturday night and pick up my daughter, (dars step),. Jamiesue and our grandaughter Vanessa and head back down for the party Sunday afternoon.

A word of welcome to all of you that might want to travel to see Dar. You are more than welcome, in fact encouraged to go see her. Visiting hours are from 10am-8:00 pm. It is very important to the patient to have company, if she is busy in therapy, go with her, take her for a walk, sit with her outside, talk with her. I can't encourage you enough to go see her if you like. I know she would really, really like it. The address of Caremeridian is 2390 Sir Franscis Drake Blvd, Fairfax Calif. Real easy to find, mapquest and then head on out. I hope you will. Any day of the week.

Well I hope this brings a smile to your face as it did mine, I am so blessed that Dar was able to get into this facility. Bless you all for your prayers, I love each of you.

Talk soon,
Dar/Danny

' WOW WHAT A WEEKEND'

Dar's move to Caremeridian was like going from La Quinta to the Trump Towers.

Talk about a couple of days of emotions being up and down, this was it. Mind you the emotions were all good, but none the less there was much to be done, people to meet, assesments to be done, schedules to learn, routines to talk about, not to mention showing the staff of what Darlene is capable of doing.

I am so tired and exhausted that I don't even know if I will be able to tell you all the things that are going on. How exciting this is going to be. The different approaches CM has about certain things, Darlene's involvement in group activities etc etc.

So rather than try to tell you everything today I will tell you all about it over the next few days. I am going to try to return to CM before the weekend so I can meet the rest of Dar's Dream Team.

So, until later, I am going to be a "veg" today. Already up at my usual hour (3-4) I have washed the sheets, flipped the mattress, folded the clothes, given Mav a bath, and tried to allow myself to think about takin the boat out this week and try to do a little bass fishin. One problem to this idea,,,,, still haveing trouble not feeling guilty about it. I know, I know, Have to take care of myself too, Not that easy folks.

Talk later,

Love ya all

Dar/Danny

Post update
1626 hours

"Mav talks to mom". Our extended family the Murphy's and Spitzers just called. Darlene was in her chair in the great room and Mav and I were able to tell her how much we love and miss her. Yes, Mav has been taught to say I Love you and sing. Dar loved it I am told. I needed that call. I feel a little better now. Thank you guys, I love ya.

"Dar IS In Her New Digs"

Well, our transfer to Caremeridian was without incident and Dar is resting as I type. Her room must be twenty by twenty, the wholefacility is huge. Bigger than what I remembered.

The staff is warm and friendly and has already spent time with Dar getting to know her and what she can do to help them out. Rosa has already learned that Dar like to "mess" with the help. Dar is already showing how perky and happy she can be when she feels good.

I just thought I would take a minute to let you know we appreciate your prayers all this week. Darlene is going to grab for the stars.

Thank you again from the bottom of our hearts. I am returning home tonight to take care of some business and will return tomorrow with the dog and will start driving Dar's car. Diesel is getting a bit expensive.

Talk again tomorrow, just something I wanted to share with you all for today.

Love ya,

Dar/Danny

" God truely does answer Prayer" "Amen"

06-11-2009
0315 Hours

God answered our prayers last night..

About 9:15 Doctor Waters called and told me that Dr was doing better, she had no fever and was doing well.

So much better that doc called CareMeridian and we are now set up to transfer on Friday. CareMeridian is ready and waiting to receive Dar as long as she continues to have no fever.

Doc told me that Dar’s white blood cell count is dropping, her diareha is getting much better and overall Dar is feeling better.

As to the results of the procedure yesterday, I cannot make any comments. The results were not in at the time doc Waters called and she will be off today so I will do my best to gather information by phone. Doc Waters did say that the procedure was more cautionary than suspect. It is just something they do to rule things out, especially since Dar was running those fevers.

I will be headed to Kentfield tomorrow and pack up Dar’s things again and head off to our new “digs”.

Thank you so much for your prayers everyone. God truly answers prayers.

My personal prayer till we move tomorrow will be that Dar would remain without a fever and that she will continue to rest and regain her strength. Will you all join me.

Thank you everyone, I will keep in touch very soon, or as soon as I get more or different information.

Have a great day, we love ya all,

Dar/Danny

" Still yet another hurdle", "blessed is the patient man"

June 10, 2009
1600 Hours

Well, since I last posted we have been patiently waiting for Dar’s fever to go away. Over the course of the week I have been staying in contact with the hospital and getting the updates as to Dar’s fever during the course of the day.

Since Saturday, Dar has run a low-grade fever each and every day. Yesterday and today were the first days that Dar has not started the day with a low fever.

I was beginning to get my hopes up yesterday that we might be off to CareMeridian tomorrow or Friday. That hope was squelched today, or at least I think it might have been squelched.

I have been staying abreast of the bed situation at CareMeridian and was feeling pretty good about our upcoming move and the bed availability there. It seemed all things were looking pretty darn good. Then…………….

I left for work about 5:15 this morning. During the summer I get to work very early, put in my time and still have plenty of time for that all important sport…..fishing. (used to a lot/hope to again) It works out really well going to work early and beating the heat, and not having the interruptions that seem to constantly plague me throughout the day. At least I have a few hours of solitude and peace to be with my thoughts and replenish my spirit as I continue this journey with Dar.

It turns out that Kentfield started leaving messages at the house about 8:00 this morning. When they finally caught up with me sometime after 9:00 I learned that an order for a “hida scan” had been ordered for Dar sometime yesterday.

A “hida scan” is a procedure using nuclear medicine injected intravenously to diagnosis in this case the gall bladder, bile, bile travel and the small intestine. I assume they are looking for blockages and or stones.

I gave my authorization for the procedure in the eleventh hour, we almost missed the appointment, but Dar was able to make the appointment on time.

Brad, (Dar’s transport nurse from Kentfield) called as they were leaving San Francisco to tell me that Dar was fine with the exception of being a little uncomfortable on an ambulance gurney for so long.

Brad said that he was not able to get too much information specifically about the procedure, as the “tech” performing the procedure was not real forthcoming with information.

I hope that by the end of the day I will hear from Doctor Waters or maybe even Dr Doherty.
I will, as I learn more, be sure to let you all know what is happening.

Please continue to pray for Dar’s Recovery and that this new obstacle will only be but a small and short inconvenience. I am still praying and looking towards our next step at CareMeridian.

Thank you for following Dar’s Recovery, we love you all and your prayers and support mean everything to us.

All our love,

Dar/Danny

"We Thought We Were Leaving Too!!!!"

06--05-2009

1405 Hours

Well it’s a little after 2:00 on Friday and I find myself watching Dar sleep peacefully after having a great session with Mike in physical therapy. Dar was fantastic in the standing frame, holding her own weight, legs fully extended and laughing with Mike and I. Turning her head from left to right more than I have seen her ever do, dropping her chin to her chest and then picking her head up to look at the stars. It was amazing. Mike seems to think Dar holds back on these days when I am not here.

You are probably asking yourself; Danny I thought Dar was moving to Caremeridian last Tuesday? If that were your question you would be correct. Unfortunately as long as Dar has a fever she cannot be transferred. This was a huge let down. I was so looking forward to the move, especially having seen what I saw today it makes me more excited to think what she will be able to do with the special attention she will get with the folks at CareMeridian.

Now we have some other complications. The bed that Dar had at CareMeridian had to go another patient within the hospital. Totally understandable, that’s the way it should be. This latest development affects us like this. The next available bed is on Friday the 12^th, another on the 15^th.We need to be free of the fever for a minimum of 24-48 hours before we can transfer to another facility.

Now, the real problem is Anthem Blue Cross, they have been very pushy about getting Dar out of Kentfield. So much that Dar’s doctors have to call and talk to the Anthem peer doctor on a daily basis. Specifically this means that as soon as Dar is “stable”, Blue Cross is going to want her to be moved, “out of dodge”, tootalou bye bye. NO MORE COVERAGE, DENIED, KAPOOT, ASTA LAVISTA BABY, MOVE HER TO ANOTHER FACILITY.

Now we play the numbers game. Hoping the timing of Dar’s loss of fever will match that of when the bed is available at CareMeridian. Otherwise I will have to make a major decision.

As in a game of poker, part of the strategy is to not give away you hand. I will say this, I am not ready to give up hope for the bed at CareMeridian and I have a couple of “aces” up my sleeve. The next few days are very critical for Dar. Please, please say your prayers that Dar’s timing will be perfect, that Doctor Waters will be able to deal with Anthem on Dar’s behalf allowing her to remain at Kentfield for a short time longer. Doc Waters has assured me that she will do everything she can for Dar and her future.

I have to say that the more contact I have with the staff at CareMeridian, the more impressed I am about the future for Dar and I. Although I have not met AnnMarie, Director of Admissions, we have been emailing for about 3 weeks. AnnMarie has been nothing short of amazing. The staff is looking forward to having Dar and being part of Dar’s Dream Team. We cannot wait to “move on up” to the next step. Again, please pray that this hurdle will be overcome for Dar.

I am going to stay overnight tonight and I think Christine is coming up tomorrow to be with Dar and be “watchgaurd” of the fever issue for the remainder of the weekend. I will return home tomorrow afternoon.

Well, that kind of gives you an idea of what has transpired since yesterday afternoon at 3:00.

Please if you feel that you can help or give suggestions how I might fight off this insurance monster, please leave a comment, leave a thought, call someone who might know a way to slay this unfriendly giant. Dar’s future is at stake, as well as mine. You don’t want to hear of some of the alternatives that have been suggested. That is why I am keeping a couple of “aces in the hole”.

I am not usually one to ask for help, but this time I am. I could use some help on this one, I appreciate all of your prayers and support.

We love you all,

Dar/Danny