"Onward we go, Upward we stride"

July 25, 2009

The battles rage on.

Yesterday I returned to the Social Security Administration to only leave more frustrated.

I was successful, or at least I think I was in getting Dar signed up for SSID, (supplemental security insurance disability), a program that will allow her a small cash award and Medical benefits. The problem with this program and the beginning of my frustration is that this benefit will only last as long as she is at CareMeridian, when she comes home she will not qualify because my wages and resources then come into play.

I was amazed at the things I had to do in order to get Dar qualified. I had to transfer her car into my name and close our joint savings and checking account. Virtually reduces Dar to nothing. This being done Dar now qualifies for the SSID program, but only as long as she resides outside our home. Once home, because I have too large and income and to many resources all these temporary benefits will cease.

Now, if we factor in the other program available to Dar, Social Security Disability, which she will be denied very soon because she is 2 (two) quarter credits short in the last ten years of meeting the 20 credit requirement. Now you can probably see of my frustration. The way the program works is that you earn credits based on your earnings and what you have paid over the years. Unfortunately Dar did not pay into the system over a period of years as a public school teacher. Most of Dar’s teaching history is in the “Christian Schools” where Social Security was taken, her last 10 years of “reporting period” was while teaching for the Public School System and most recently the Post Office and Wal-Mart. Soooo, Dar has earned 18 credits in the last ten years but needs to have 20 credits in order to qualify for SSDI. You can’t buy them, I don’t know if Dar can share 2 of mine in a tax year that we file jointly?? Do the same rules apply that because we are married and legally she shares half, those same rules that would cancel her benefit when she comes home, would those same rules allow me to split with her my 4 credits earned in a tax year that we file jointly??

As we pay into the System each year we are allowed up to 4 quarters of credit per year based on the specific years wage earnings. For example: For 2009 the wage is $1050.00 per quarter, so if you earn 1050.00 per quarter times 4 quarters in a year, you will earn the max credits of 4 for the year 2009. In 2008 the wage was 1000.00 in 2007 the wage was 960.00. It drops as the years descend.

The nuts and bolts of this is that in 2005 we filed jointly but Dar took a year off from teaching, (no SSI) deductions, my question is this. I earned 4 credits for that year; we filed jointly, could she be entitled to 2 of my 4 credits for that year as husband and wife.

IF ANYONE CAN HELP OR KNOWS SOMEONE THAT CAN HELP PLEASE COME FORWARD, I REALLY COULD USE SOME GUIDANCE.

The really sad part of all this is that we are only talking at the most a couple thousand dollars income for Dar to qualify for these last two credits.

I am looking into a couple of possibilities that may help but I won’t be able to do much until Monday.

I find it so discouraging that we open our borders to all who have nothing and give them aide and assistance but yet we turn away our own because one of the partners has too much income and resources. Have they seen my paycheck? They make it sound like we are filthy rich, quite the opposite, we are just like most Americans, living from paycheck to paycheck, done some planning for the future, have worked hard for what they do have and then be told it is too much. Here’s another one that I hope gets you fired up!!!!!!!

Divorce, yep it happens, used to happen quite frequently, in order to save what one has worked so hard and to qualify one of the spouses divorce has been in the past an alternative. Guess what, that too is now being scrutinized, claims rejected, denials made, you had better not present yourself to anyone as a couple or still husband and wife though divorced for medical reasons. The anvil will fall, so what is one to do. We are screwed. I’m screwed. Could really use some help. If you know someone or can point me in the right direction, please let me know. I really need to find a way to get these two credits for Dar. If this is achieved many of our “issues” will be resolved.

On the lighter side, Dar is doing very well these last several days. Still have some residuals in the stomach that the staff is monitoring. Starting a paper trail of documentation to present to the Dr. when needed. I do not want to have the Reglan reintroduced with out just cause.

The Modified Barium Swallow test is scheduled for August 3rd at 1:00pm at Marin General.

Dr. D saw Dar the other day and I am told she was very impressed with Dar’s progress. Dar spoke and answered Dr. D’s questions and was a total joy.

Staff all agree that they are glad Dar is no longer on strike; she is truly living up to her “scampish” name.

In closing I am including a letter I recently wrote to my immediate family and friends, in it I believe you will feel that I too am in need of some “special help”.

The title of the email that prompted this letter was “I love you”, (God)

Today at this moment this is a very hard concept for me to grasp, I know it to be true, but as the hurdles of each day arise I am finding it harder and harder to raise one leg then the other.

The battles seem overwhelming, the future so uncertain, time in a day, (never enough), reasons to smile, (Dar), love and commitment to my wife undaunting, need for relaxation, rest, peace: somewhere in the future.

Reasons to be thankful cannot be numbered, reasons to keep going; cannot be expressed in a way that some would or could understand.

I am tired, I am weary, I am discouraged, I am determined, I am loved, I am in need, I am thankful, I am at peace with my future and current situation and Dar and I will work together to bring honor to our family, friends and God.

I guess this make me but one thing................... Human..........with all the shortcomings, emotions, and attitudes of being a human being. I was once told and have never forgotten this phrase.

"We are not responsible for our feelings or emotions, we are responsible for how we react to them". I hope and pray I have brought honor to my wife, friends/family and God above.

I'm tired everyone and feeling lost and overwhelmed,

I love you all

Danny